Our Relationships to Power In Times of Anxiety
I do this training called Relationship to Power. I go through what I believe are the three relationships to power:
Trophy — heat-seeking missile for power, always looking for the way to get or be near more.
Enemy — skeptical of all power and lets their suspicions be known to whatever power is nearby.
Spatula — a utilitarian relationship to power. Neither validated by or against power. You use a spatula to make your eggs and bacon, you use power to do X for your community.
I train folks about what it takes to transition a reactive relationship to power to a strategic one. To utilize all three relationships because there is different value to each. In the social change sector we have A LOT of power is enemy. Which makes a lot of sense. You don’t throw in to change the worlds problems without understanding how abuses of power created those problems.
In the coming weeks we will all experience some severe lacks of control. It is my experience that in those moments — our power is enemy filter becomes extra high. It allows us the illusion of control with power that is much less consequential than the power that is triggering your reactions.
I find this is when we need a power analysis the most or we waste precious time and sow division without even understanding why we are doing it. Stay compassionate with each other friends. The next weeks will require more of it with each other.
As for me, I am going to be writing about the different ways our filters and prior experiences of power — aka trauma — determine how we interact and exploring this more with all of you.
